I was in a very big house that had many rooms. I kind of wandered about through the house going into the different rooms one by one. In each of the rooms I walked in, were piles – I mean piles of brand new items, all boxed up and untouched. I walked up to one of these piles of goodies and just thought silently to myself “boy, I wish I could have some of this stuff.” As soon as I had this thought, a man walked up beside me, about in his sixties; he was thin and very kind looking. He had these large glasses on that made his eyes look kind of buggy. He was rather..quirky. Somehow I knew that it was his house that I was wandering around in, and that he owned all of this stuff I was eyeing. Apparently this quirky man was very rich. He stood beside me, also looking at the items and said so plainly as if reading my mind, “you can have that if you want.” He didn’t specify which of these things I could have, but I knew he meant anything. I could take anything in the pile that I wanted.
You might expect that my next move was to fill my arms with these items and run, but that’s not what happened. Instead, I simply stood there, worried. I thought to myself, “I can’t simply take something that isn’t mine..and besides – what if I do take it, and the man regrets giving it to me? Surely he will miss any of these items if I take one.”
Instead of taking something from the pile as I was given permission, I walked away..still wanting. I did this repeatedly, going up to a pile, being told I can take whatever I want, but then walking away with empty hands.
Finally I walked into the middle room – the biggest room in the house. And right in the middle were two really nice keyboards. I didn’t have a keyboard myself at the time, but I really wanted one. I walked up and started eyeing them and thought, “oh I really wish I could have one of these.” Next thing I know, the kind, quirky gentleman was standing beside me…and you guessed it, he said to me, “You can have that if you want. Actually, go ahead and take both of them!”
I thought again to myself, “Surely he doesn’t really mean it. I just know that if I take one, he will be upset with me. I mean these had to have cost a lot of money. Surely he will end up resenting me for taking something of his.”
I compared the two keyboards – one was nicer than the other. After some thought, I decided that it would be easier if I took the cheaper one. Sure, I wanted the other one more, but I supposed that maybe this man wouldn’t resent me so much for choosing the cheaper option. I was about to take the keyboard when suddenly, I was overcome with fear…and I walked away..empty handed..again. And that’s how the dream ended, and I woke up.
I was in class when I started thinking about this dream again…the one thing I couldn’t stop thinking about was the gentleman in the dream. Not so much what he looked like, but rather the feeling I had when he stood beside me. The best word I could use to describe him was selfless. I couldn’t wrap my mind around how someone could be so selfless to be willing to give anything of his to a stranger like me. He showed no sign of resentment or selfishness, he was completely kind. While in class I thought, this fictitious man in my dream..he was the kindest man I’ve ever met. He exuded kindness and free-ness.
Suddenly, right there in class, it hit me…the man in my dream is a representation of….well, God. Specifically God, the Father. Of course! This wasn’t just a normal dream…it meant something! I walked to my house after class and all I could think about was this fatherly figure – so kind, so selfless. But then I started to consider the meaning of the dream…I was sobered by the realization that in the dream, I didn’t realize who I was talking to. I mean he didn’t appear anything like I imagined God looking like. He was too quirky, almost goofy looking! But the love I felt from Him..was like nobody I ever met on earth.
I actually burst out in tears because of this realization…I realized I didn’t actually know the Father like I thought I had. In tears, I asked God to forgive me for being so oblivious and unaware of who He really is…selfless, kind, and incredibly generous. In an instant, I understood what the rest of the dream meant…the reason I couldn’t take anything was because I didn’t really know the heart of the Father. I couldn’t understand such selfless generosity. I had been taught so many religious ideas of God, but even when he stood right beside me, I wasn’t able to recognize him.
The Father knew the desires of my heart, yet I was unwilling to receive them when the opportunity arose. I was too afraid that this Father might resent me – in my mind I considered it possible that he might love these things more than he loves..me.
The Father was so kind to reveal my own heart to me through this dream. I realized in real life that even in my prayer time, I couldn’t get myself to ask anything from God. When I tried, my prayers felt so lifeless as I didn’t truly believe that God would be willing to answer my requests, especially the really small, menial ones. There was some sort of paralysis over this area of my prayer life. Instead of asking anything from God, I simply complained about what I didn’t have – as if God wasn’t already willing to give these things to me. Every day the Father was saying to me, “you can have that if you want,” but I was still walking away empty-handed
I am reminded of the “Prodigal Son” story. The older brother throws a fit over all that the younger prodigal son received from the Father. The Father tells the older son “Son, you are always with me and all that is mine is yours.” You see, the older son could have had a celebration anytime he wanted. He could have called his friends and had a feast at any time, but he never did, because he didn’t realize what he had access to as a son in the Father’s house.
So many of us come to God, but yet leave empty handed because we don’t understand what we have access to. We then go on complaining at how little we have while in the meantime we actually have access to an entire kingdom. Although this may pertain to material things, it is so much more than that!
Jesus said in John 15:7-8 “If you abide in me and I abide in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you may bear fruit and so prove to be my disciples.” Jesus says this sort of thing many times throughout the gospels, and almost every time he tells us to “ask,” he also mentions the Father. That’s because the Father is the giver of good gifts. He loves giving gifts!
“Every good and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” You see, in the dream, I was afraid that the Father would change his mind. Yes. he told me I could take anything, but yet I was afraid that if I did, he would regret it later and resent me. But that’s not true! This scripture says there is no variation or shadow due to change! When the Father gives a good gift he doesn’t change his mind! The Father gives without regret or contempt.
The truth is, I could have taken anything from the house, because all of the things in that house were already mine…because they were the Father’s. Whatever is his..is ours. We just have to reach out and take it – because that’s the kind of relationship we have with the Father!
Now I know some religious people might stand up and say “well, you know God isn’t some sort of Santa Claus who just answers your wish list.” No…God isn’t Santa Claus..he’s better. He’s a good and perfect Father who knows exactly what you need and even exactly what you want. We certainly don’t want to treat God like Santa Claus, but I have a feeling that most Christians are quite a ways from asking too much of God. I would say that we all ask for too little. I have a hard time finding where Jesus tells us to beware of asking too much from the Father, but I can find a lot of places where he tells us to ask freely of the Father.
The Father showed me his generous hand shortly after having the dream. I was in a traveling choir who was going on a trip to Thailand and Indonesia. I opted not to go early in the fundraising because I was stressed about finances and told myself I couldn’t raise the money. About a month before the money was to be raised I felt God tell me to go on the trip. The same day that I had felt this, someone randomly felt led to give me $200. I used that money to buy a passport but was then back at square one with no money. Well the week before the money was due, a friend’s family took me out to eat – it just so happened that someone they worked for heard about me and decided to give me a check….$2,800..the exact amount needed for the trip….This all happened shortly after having that dream.
I can tell you, the Father really does want to be generous towards you. After all, the Father already gave the most precious gift – His only Son for us. That is the most selfless gift imaginable.
So stop being a stranger in the Father’s house and start living like you belong there as a son or daughter.
Oh, and by the way, I did eventually get a keyboard…